Saturday, April 23, 2005
today.
meet the parents.
blehhs.
went there just for the talk.
boring.boring.
yawnns.
hahahas.
met many people's parents though.
oh goodness.
even my mum says.
jerallyn's mum looks strict.
hahahas.
gave jerallyn her pooh.
ii am sucha nice gerr.
hahahahas.
((:*
went to some parenting talk with mummy.
they were talking about stress.
ahahhas.
funny funny.
and my mum concluded that ii am stressed.
woots.
cause ii often get irritated.
and angry for no reason.
actually.ii am just like that.
rahhahahs.
good.
then she wun nag me again.
((:*
---
no longer sad.
ii am happy.
smiling and grinning.
at everyone.
making everyone smile.
because ii am smiling at them.
rahhahahas.
ii am lame.
wonder how long this will last?
woots.
yesterday totally rawked sia.
sports day 2005.
and guess who is the champion house?
OLEANDER!
oh goodness.
smiles to myself.
cheered.cheered.and cheered.
((:*
ole totally rawked lah.
me and jerallyn were screaming away.
whees.
budd ii pang sehhed her halfway.
hees.
went to walk around with llaopo.
and went to visit all the other houses.
peiting they all super ke aii.
hahahas.
they say they old le.
cannot run le.
budd band did well.
*grins
llaopo did well too.
super fast.
yeahh!
((:*
---
after that went to orchard with laopo.
bought many many things.
girlfriend present too.
and bought things to cheer people up.
((:*
smileys.
met ziyan.nicole.someone.yeong eun.
at lido.
rahhahahas.
nicole persuaded us to be lightbulbs with her.
ziyan is funny.
talked loads to princess jigaridu.
dont be sadd.
cheer up babe.
dont like to see the sad princess.
((:*
---
all in all.
ole rawked.
my post is in orangey orange.
ii am gonna miss ole.
ole is going to rawk forever.
woots!!
Thursday, April 21, 2005
screams and yells.
ii am totally pissed.
as in really PISSED.
never been so pissed in my sec sch life.
you all may think ii am very ap.
budd you never seen me blow off my top.
and today ii have already been rening.
whadd is your stupid prob?
spraying PERFUME in the band room?
do you have nothing better to do?
can you like go and practise your fingerings?
or something?
instead of just trying to gain attention.
trust me.
you are just irritating everyone.
especially me.
just fuck off lah.
ii am really pissed at you.
---
and another one.
cant you see ii am holding my horn?
do you have to like push me.
just to get pass?
cant you just say excuse me or something?
rahhh.
ii really need to destress.
---
took laopo's horn by mistake.
sorry dear.
heehees.
ii was too pissed.
so ii just grab whadd is nearest to me.
sorry.
and laopo is trying to curb my temper.
budd ii think she is failing to do so.
nevermind.ii will try.
all in all.
people can be so selfish at times.
---
ii have my own bad points.
ii know.
budd ii still cant help pointing out others.
rahh.
for the first time ii hated someone so much.
ii dun even want to look at you.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
ii promiised.
promiised syikin that ii would be happy.
yes.
ii am happy.
because syikin.
brightened up my day.
the two happy sparstic friends.
we will be happy.
and take turns to cheer each other up.
*tongue twists
ii love syikin loads.
ii bet she loves me too.
we love each other.
((:*
heys sparstic friend.
ii will be here when you need me.
huggs you tight tight.
---
today was a okay day.
just that all the teachers.
seem to be pmsing.
who cares.
bleahhs.
hee.ii am mean.
cheryll is so funny today.
she and her altered skirt.
and kana scolding.
heehees.
hees.ii am listening to happy songs.
hahahas.
one moment in time.
that thing you do.
all the band songs.
budd ii think those songs is groovy.
whees.
*grooves to the music.
((:*
((:*
ii am high.budd someone is low.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
ii used to believe.
believe in fairytales.
budd time and time again.
everything just seem to prove me wrong.
fairytales really dont exist.
eternity never existed.
it is just so easy to believe.
yet so difficult to forget.
ii am trying to forget.
stop trying to make me remember.
drama is still drama.
it will never be reality.
---
band was nice today.
budd ii just couldnt smile.
couldnt laugh.
from the bottom of my heart.
all that you-know-who-she-is stuff.
love the song yuan dian.
---
Monday, April 18, 2005
freak.
everything is going so not correctly lah.
rahh.
ii feel like screaming at someone now.
ii am forever dampening laopo's mood.
haii.
sorry laopo.
really really pissed off.
at some dunnoe whadd reasons.
tomorrow there is lit test.
just shoot me okay.
ii dont even feel like studying.
my life revolves around nothing now.
not you.not me.not anybody.
---
ii am smiling without meaning.
laughing without reason.
everything ii do is only for a show.
a show that is put up meant for you.
you will never get to see the real me.
never.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
haii.
have been slacking all these days.
simply not in the mood to study.
ii just wanna fail everything.
dont want to study.
dont want to go to school.
dont want to live life.
now my only wish is to watch finish my show.
tomorrow maths test.
budd ii really cant be bothered to study.
freak.
change encoding to unicode.
---
这世界上没有永远的爱情
只有永久的伤痛.
---
转开头，闭上眼睛
不看令自己伤心的事
也就拒绝了伤痛。
---
maybe that is whadd ii am doing now.
ii feel lonely.
do you know whadd is the difference between
lonely and alone?
lonely is when you are with many people,
you feel alone.
even if you are alone,
you might not feel lonely.
ii belong to the first one.
---
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
haii.
today's assembly was totall horror.
ii wished ii wasnt even there at all.
ii wished ii was late for once.
ii dun want to hear it all.
ii dun want to accept it.
ii dun want to believe that everything ended.
ii dun want to.
feeling weak now.
too much tears these few days.
it hurts.
it really does.
---
when they announced.
cedar girls. silver.
10 months of hard work.
everything that happened.
all flooded my mind.
ii couldnt help it budd cry.
everything.
watson.cluster.exleaders.exseniors.
it really hurts.
shuhui's star was with me.
read it again and again.
started another flow of tears.
whyye did this have to happen.
2007.
we will work harder.
budd it will be different.
---
totally wasnt in the mood to study.
ii can go and flunk my tests.
all dunnoe how to do.
was thinking of everything.
ii wanna escape everything.
screwed inside.
when will ii get out of this freaking mood!
ii dun want to cry anymore.
ii want to stop.
stop it all.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
SYF is coming.
tomorrow is monday.
tomorrow will pass quickly.
and then it will be tuesday.
the day when we will go to SCH.
to show the judges whadd we got.
12 april will be a happy day.
there is no use freaking out.
we will just do our very best.
---
we just need to reach our own gold.
it is beyond whadd the score says.
it is beyond music.
whadd we play.
will be whadd we feel deep inside.
our feelings for band.
our passion for music.
our bond with each other.
we will never ever give up.
no matter how tough the journey.
we have all worked hard for that goal.
it is not the destination that matters.
it is the journey to it.
no matter whadd the result may be.
we will remember this journey.
and the people who walked with you.
for the rest of our lives.
---
((:*
it is not the certificate that matters.
it is whadd that is inside.
we will go there and smile.
and be confident.
we will face this battle with a smile.
((:*
ii am feeling happy.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
okay.
ii am in comp lab now.
ii am like freezing lah.
partially because of the air con.
but also because of the reaudition.
can you believe it?
ii actually didnt bring my red band tee.
like how great rights.
haii.
nevermind.
with Christ in the vessel.
we can smile at the storm.
ii am smiling at the storm approaching.
ii am not going to give up halfway.
ii am going to try again.
---
today someone surprised me.
hohohos.
wen gave me a bottle of stars.
and inside each star,
there is a hidden message.
((:*
thanks dude.
helped loads.
and ii will be happy and cheerful.
look on the bright side.
you better look on the bright side too.
godmommy loves godson.
((:*
*smiles at the stars.
---
band is about an hour later.
or maybe two.
ii will go early to prac.
ii will play and warm up.
things will be better.
ii know.
ii believe in miracles.
because ii believe in God.
((:*
God is great.
ii felt so much more comforted.
after singing songs of worship and praise.
it has been a long time since ii went back.
He is calling me back.
ii can feel it.
thank God for believing in me.
and not giving up on me.
even if everyone gives up on me.
ii cannot give up on myself.
and God wun give up on me too.
((:*
ii am a happy lil girl.
holding on to God's little finger.
((:*
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
rahhs.
today was a day full of tears.
just couldnt stop crying.
reaudition caused those tears.
couldnt stop flowing.
haii. ii failed once again.
ii failed to stay calm.
ii failed to listen to Him.
ii failed to think of Him during the audi.
all ii did was freaking out.
tmr ii will have one LAST chance.
ii will do my best.
---
who said ii was playing for sir?
ii am gonna play for God to listen.
ii am going to play for everyone who loves me.
ii am going to await the smile ii will see.
on God's face.
even if ii fail, God will be there.
everyone will be there.
that's enough for me.
budd ii wun allow myself to fail.
ii will not disappoint all those who cared.
ii wun freak out again.
ii will stay calm.
---
sorry that ii caused so many ppl to cry.
they see me cry they sadd too.
ii am so so sorry.
laopo. and girlfriend.
and meimei too.
she almost cried.
thanks to:
wen.jeral.lydia.joyce.wanyan.rachel.
siru.yeong eun.siying.wanning.shaza.
peiting.shuying.jeanice.sheeping.lily.
shuhui.kate.suzanne.mrstan.jessica.
yanhui.lollipop.yuxin.tiffany.tracy.
and the list goes on.
((:* ii feel loved today.
ii realised so many people cared for me.
((:* thanks peeps.
you all brightened my life.
esp. those who were sitting ard me.
ii will keep my promiise.
ii will be there.
ii will play my best.
ii wun be discouraged.
((:*
finally. thank God.
thank God for blessing me with these ppl.
((:*
amen!
Monday, April 04, 2005
haii.
i am sick today.
eva is oso sick today.
was feeling so super uncomfortable.
felt like puking and stuff during class.
haii.
and the lessons seemed longer than usual.
)):*
everyone seemed to be so sad.
just cheer up okay.
whaddever that has been done is done.
there is no way you can change the past.
just look forward and you will see the light.
((:*
gan er zi is sadd once again.
you are not transparent lah.
you are opaque.
hahahas.
---
watson came back today!
omg.omg.omg.
i was smiling like some madd person lah.
he totally rawked my wurld lah.
but i couldnt really play cause.
i had sore throat.
then the sound is really horrible.
haii.
forgive me fellow horners.
)):*
i must recover before SYF.
i wannt to be in my best state.
i want to do my best.
and i will do my best.
((:*
rawk on bandits.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
today was a okay day.
sir was in quite a good mood.
my tuning was okay too.
((:*
band was okay.
except that regina left early.
leaving only 2 first horns.
managed to struggle through 138.
but i cann play le.
as in smoothly.
((:* woots.
nezzy is happy.
please be happy for me.
((:*
---
meii is sadd.
godson/goddaughter is sadd.
i am sadd.
everyone is sadd.
)):*
contradicting feelings.
was happy during band.
but after. was all sadness.
discussed many things with pat.
really want them back with us to serve Him.
He really wants us back to Him.
whyye cant people just see that?
everything is just so real.
---
haii.enough of all these.
just want everyone to be happy.
((:*
Friday, April 01, 2005
i am sitting here.
freaking myself out.
seriously scared for SYF day.
read girlfriend's blog.
freak out even more.
really hope we will get the gold.
we must get the gold.
and we will.
*pinky promise
i am practising my frenchie now.
((:*
practise.practise.practise.
that is whadd i am gonna do.
pray for me.
that i will improve.
((:*
May God bless me.
in comp lab now.
doing the stupid postcard.
i am seriously not in the mood to.
rahh.
i am not in a very good mood.
whadd is wrong?
everything seems to be going so wrong.
ii am just starting to get irritated at people.
and i really mean it.
rahh.
just go away lorr.
ii like never go out with her alone tog.
whadd da heck.
grrr.
i am currently real pissed.
fine lah. i am extra.
happy?