有点先哭的感觉
there are times in this walk with You when i trip and fall.
and sometimes i even hurt myself in the process.
but thank You for healing me from within,
and making me smile from inside.
even if there are times like these when i feel like crying,
i know You will keep the tears back.
even if they fall,
You will be there to wipe them away.
the only one who will be there to wipe them away.2454
thanks Dad. You're the best that i could ever i ask for.
even when the best left me.
i miss you. but there's no way you will come back.
OHHS! and im at yanhui's house now. grins.
hahahas. and we're playing monopoly.
and i think im the winner. ((: heh heh.
although my friends may not know the right words to say to comfort me,
but thank you dearests,
for being there when i needed yall the most.
even it's just merely a word of, okay not? why so glum
thanks babe, you're lovely.
thanks for all the msges and all. i miss you alot alot. ):

okay, this is meant to be a mugging date,
therefore IM OFF TO MUG NOW.
OHNO ): yanhui won the game. pouts-
toodles people. till i see you again.

okays, there're certain people whom i really missed.
people who could make me laugh,
and enlighten me when things looked blur.

LEONG YUQIAN!
i know she wont be reading this.
but ohwells. she's sucha lovely pls.
she never fails to make me laugh when i start stoning.
hahahas. and we haven finish our convo.
i haven finish telling you the story.
she's my entertainer, my aidonggua.
the first kite was flown together with her at marina bay.
the first steamboat was eaten with her.
the first horror movie date was with her.
the first i/c that she made was with me.
hahahas. she'l always be that special one,
no matter what :D

FLICHU!
girlaye im so happy that we went studying today.
cos it's fun and we talked much!
(: im glad that you're going on strong now.
continue growing! =D
and we shall date out and GO SHOPPING!
ahwells. the temptation of shopping :/
at times when things din look right,
you always happen to be there to tell me the answers.
at times when i happen to fall and stumble,
you always happen to come up and have a chat with me.
GIRLAYE I LOVE YOU! (:

MANYU and JER and QIAN!
i love going googoogahgah with manyu over idol dramas.
and getting so fascinated how can guys IN SHOWS be so sweet.
hahahas. rain! =D
ohwells, manyu, im still wanting to be the one there.
so dont say no one's there alright!
IM JUST A FEW CLASSES AWAY LA!
dont be so lazy, just come over and find me =D
jer is one of the few people who can flutter eyelids with me.
i love those moments when we simply flutter together at qian!
hahahas. roars in laughter-
then she'l go 'diao me again right!'
funnyflash! spider solitare! :D
yes you stupid person! HQY! tsktsk.
are you sad that you cant play funnyflash?
hahahs. i wna play too la. hurry bring your laptop someday.
and and and! PLS TAKE CARE OF IT CAN NOT!
it's like super poor thing. i know you love me alot,
but pls spare some love to the poor thing (:

EYECANDY!
hahahs. thanks for just being there to msg me,
in times of torture! =x
hehehe. and pls stop laughing at my pitiful plight.
DO YOU MISS ME BUYING PINEAPPLES FOR YOU?
hahas. i bet you do. hehheh. but ohwells. (:
i really wonder who will i see eh.
go study with me la and you'l find out =D
HAHAS. stupid idiot! I MISS YOU LA!
hurry date me out after your prelims. (ohno, my exams start by then)
): fine, im offically sad now ))))))):
cos i wont be going out with you anytime soon.
bahh. oh, and lightning today was really scary.
ms ng bs laughed at me when i cried =/
tell you a secret: my prince turned into my fellow PRINCESS :D

BABE!
managed to catch you inside the comp lab.
although din talk much, but at least we saw each other.
(: and managed to catch up a lil.
miss spending time with you la. ):
remember darling, spin and you'l find me (:
spin spin spin! comeon, you can go faster!
faster faster! TADA! im right here talking to you!
:D i miss tiara.
i feel like smiling at you now.
i feel like going cranky and high with you now.
i feel like eating CHOCOLATE cake at vi'llage now. =(
i feel like saying I MISS YOU now. ):
i miss you..


my lovelys are ever so lovely.
i love yall alot alot.
and i miss study group. date me out aye? (:
lovelove<3
current craze now: RAIN! =D

im seriously so tired after the teaching thing
and after the stupid maths worksheet that made me feel dumb.
rahh. )))):
someone can save me la.
im really dying here.
cos im so tired. rahh. i was saying im so tired the whole day.
as you can see, this is sucha random entry.
it's just to fill up space.
and show my presence only.
so therefore, im still alive la.

i love rain. =D
but mr lightning and thunder, stop scaring me alr.
i've no shelter to hide in.
stop striking and making me cry. although i cry even w/o them.

okay, this is really damn random but who cares.
love,
me.

shiang nee, thanks for the hug (:
it made me smile at the computer =D
hahahas.

have been watching ALOT of idol dramas these few days.
and i mean ALOT man.
things such as e mo zai shen bian,
ai qing mo fa shi,
e zuo ju zhi wen (going to watch tmr)
ge dou,
zi jing zhi dian.
wei xiao pasta.
isnt that ALOT?
when im not feeling good, i watch them.
mike he is hot (:
i know that's so long ago, but he still is.
after watching e mo that is :D
everyone around seems to be watching goong.
i should go watch someday too.
lalalas. the characters in those shows make my day.
I WANT TO STAY IN FRONT OF THE TEEVEE.
and not move. :D

random fact: I WANT TO MAKE MANYU HAPPY!
manyu, haven been catching up with you lately.
AND I'VE GOT TONS TO TELL YOU.
and many things to pout at you for.
when are you freeeeeeee... im so sad that we're not going out.
): prettaye, even if the whole world doesnt love you anymore,
THERE'S ALWAYS ME!
becos you loved me when i was unlovable.
becos you listened to me when others shrugged me off.
becos you comforted me when others left me alone.
becos you made me smile when others told me they were busy.
thank you dearest, and kuanling is always here to make you smile!
ARE YOU SMILING NOW? :D

to all those who bothered to make a lil note,
thanks! (: becos it's moments like these that i remember.
tralalas yall never know how much i loved yall!


因为你的存在，我的世界更美丽
cliche as it may seems, heartfelt words to all my lovelys.
that's all you shall see of me.

i dont need advice.
i dont need people to crash on me with advice.
just give me simple words of comfort,
a hug or two.
and i'l be satisfied.
i'm tired. really am.
believe it or not. i am.
if you dont want to be the person there for me,
leave now. it's better to let the hurt come in all at once.
受得伤，够了吧
真的够了

whenever i talk to you abt smth,
that consists of agitated feelings,
dont pull Dad into it.
BECOS AT THE PT OF TIME DAD IS ALR THERE.
or else i would have done loads of silly things.
I JUST NEED SOMEONE ALR.
damn. i had enough.

stinging eyes, hurting stomach, aching back.
what more do you want to do to me?
let it all come man.
give me divine strength to fight my warfare.

i cried like a kid today =/
and i dint know why i couldnt stop.
really couldnt.
i guess i was really tired of everything.
so tired that i threw it all down.
and cried it all out.
i never liked holding emotions in,
but ever since i dont know when,
i started doing so.
so as not to affect certain people around me.
shrugs- now that this facade is gone,
yall will have to get used to another inezlau.

but there are certain that i want to thank God for.
CELYEO! <3
i know it hurts. but babe, Dad's there.
and you know i want to be there too.
rover will be a dude that i'l miss.
im sure you too girl.
seek comfort in Him okays? love you girl!

SHHHHHpartner! =D
you've always been great my dearest.
and today i know you tried (:
and it really comforts me to know that you're there.
babe, and i simply love talking to you.
no matter it's reminiscing the past, or discussing abt the future.
this is OUR set of memories.
waiting for you at the secret place.

ZUI AI! <3
you silly person there! call me goondu somemore la.
you helped (: really did.
and you're still the special one who can pin that smile on my face,
and get me retardly smiling at the comp.
yesyes, stop rushing me to bed.
just wna let you know, im real proud of you.
and you're still the best that i cld ask for! (:

MOMMY QUEEN! =D
im sorry that i gave you the cold shoulder.
i just din know what to reply to your Hebrew language =x
but mommy, thanks loads for everything you did.
it made me stop focusing on my eye.
tiaras forever! :D


there are many times in life that i feel like giving it all up.
all i mean.
but when i start thinking about my Father in Heaven,
i cant bear to give up my r/s with Him.
im not willing to be any other women,
im only heading to the one He loves and the one who responds.
i may not be beautiful and perfect in the world's eyes.
but i know when my Father calls, i will respond.
Lord, see my heart's desire.

does God know me?
im sure He does. i know He does.
but i will continue to do His will, and live His life.
my parents used to say, how long will you be a Christian for?
one year? three years? five years?
i used to be unsure abt it.
but now, im more than ready to say,
im in this business FOREVER Lord.

people come along and they hurt.
but i trust in You Lord, that You'l always make things better.
You'l always make me feel better.
You'l take the hurt and pain away.

this song speaks of what's in my heart :
You and i, together forever.
nothing can stand in the way.
my love for You, grows stronger each new day.
i've fallen deeply in love with You.


Lord, just came here to say i love You.

i realise, i dont scream out all my displeasure.
i wish i cld. and perhaps people would notice im hurting.
im just feeling really off right now.
blown off track.
just, dont think im strong and all.
cos i can jolly well tell you im not.
and dont think im alright,
it's just that i dont tell you how i feel deep down.
and dont think i dont have high expectations of friends,
it's just that i dont show my demands.

the worst thing you can ever do,
is to know a person is hurting and not do anything.
im posting these not out of angst.
just, my thoughts that have been surpressed for too long.
im afriad i'l even forget how to voice them out anymore.

i see people pass me by in a crowd.
without even bothering to stop and ask if im alright.
hahs. that's what friends are for.
if you're abt to tell me to stop being sad,
i tell you, im not sad. im just disappointed with the damn world.

yes im feeling insecure now.
if you're not ready to make me feel secure,
i would rather you not speak a word.

i dont really care abt how people would react to this post.
no matter you think im just ranting,
or im just being unreasonable,
i just dont feel like putting on that facade anymore.
assurance, i've given up on.
sometimes this world gets so disappointing.
okay, im not that up to standard too.
i guess people forgot abt the damn logic,
that we all need a physical being around us called friends.
that's all i have to say,
back to the inezlau that yall know.
(: the smiley one i mean.


to end this on a happier tone,
i love mommy, princess, zui ai.