a lil help here. (:
http://kevan.org/johari?view=INEZLAU

very much wanted to study.
but nothing goes in.
and i rly am too tired to continue trying.
stomach's still squirming.
head started spinning.
i guess my body system is asking me to sleep.
i think i'l be doing that soon. nods-


TIFFANY WONG.
dont cry my silly girl.
i'l catch your tears too.
loveyou loads okay. i'm here for you, always.


zui ai, i DONT allow you to walk alone.
standing beside you all the time.
you just need to turn your head and look ard,
you'll find me on this journey with you.

active tears glands.
throbing headaches.
squirmy stomaches.


MANY sorrys to tanwenqi.
she had to endure my swings and sillyness,
endure my irritating self,
the mute inezlau,
for two days.
DUI BU QI.




flichu: i want to catch up with you sometime. i miss you girl. ):
tiffanywong: (: you just made me smile.
ME: (: i love myself.
linxin: where are you la ! i miss your hugs pls. ):
mujia: you silly girl! you've a friend in me too. (: much LOVE. and pls. you're NOT demanding.
CAL: stupid chaoahlian never fails to make me (:

i hate it when people lie.
i hate it when i'm feeling unhappy.
i hate it when i'm on a binge.
i hate it when people do things things that contradict with what they say.
i hate it when the sun sets.
i hate it when my clone's away.
i hate it when no one's ard.
i hate it when my tears fall.
i hate it even more when no one's there to catch them.
i hate it when everything screws up.
i hate it when i'm seen as insignificant.
i hate it when everything crumbles.
i hate it when i'm hurt.
i hate it when ppl saying meaningless things.
am i demanding?
i think so too.
so dont be my friend.

sometimes i wonder.
who would be there?

i swear my freaking headaches are killing my brain cells.
studying has alrdy killed many.
i dont need headaches to kill somemore.
ERG. just feeling a lil irritated.
by what you ask.
nothing.

lalalas.
i want to stay happy.
and silly of course.
cos i realise, my sillyness make ppl laugh.
and when they laugh,
they feel a lil better.
althought it's just a lil,
but yea. at least it helps.
so therefore, i want to stay silly for LIFE.
and make ppl ard me smile and by happy.
great idea?
i think so too. (:

i'm only supposed to blog happy entries for now.
HAHAS.
does that mean i can blog sad entries when i'm home?
heehee.
someone is trying VERY HARD to do her banyueji.
>.<'' someone canNOT cut paper. TSK.
shakeshead. x)
i'm tired la.
rahh. band is seriously energy consuming.




i suppose life would be better without me?

staying happy is getting tiring.
it's okay.
i'll charged myself.
and go ard influencing everyone with my highness.
i'm SOLARpowered.
just that, now,
as the sun goes down,
i'll have to take a break,
behind my clone.
so talk to my clone alright?
it'll give you the answer you want.

stupid and silly and insane meow entertained me today.
laughs-
not only her.
many others to.
such as:
SUZANNESEAH.
JOEYCHAN.
TIFFANYWONG.
XINYING.
TANWENQI.
TAYZHIYUN.
CHEWY.
ZHANGWENYU.
LAIYIYING.


hahas. basically all those who were at pp macs.
laughable time. (:


can everyday be filled with such joy and insanity?
then i wouldnt mind being insane.

seeing things happen ard me,
has made me ponder.
what are true friends?


are they just ppl whom you can call when you're sad.
and forget about them when you're happy?


when the friendship is put on a test,
will you choose to push all the blame away?
or take up the responsibility yourself?


why are we hurting each other in this way?
cant there be a way which we can settle it peacefully?
if you can only think about yourself now,
then i'm sorry, you aint a true friend.


it just dawns on me that,
in your perception,
the word 'love' is just another word in the dictionary.




it just disappoints me to see ppl change.
it rly does.
the disappointment hurts.
i'm sure it's worse for those involved.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
inezlau is nothing more den a big fat bully ):


she stole my jellyfish.
AND WORSE, SHE IS EATING LOUDLY.
she's trying to deny it.
whatever! x)


she copies me.
therefore, we have telepathy.
x)


she is a lousy cartoon character.
cos she cannot jump up like cartoon character does.
oh she says shes not a cartoon therefore she is not cute/popular like cartoons are.


she tries to deny it by poking my face with chopstick.):

OH.
mango tango=mang guo tiao wu.
banana tango=BAHH NA NA tiao wu.
peach tango=tao zi tiao wu.
after drinking any of the tiao wu, you will also TIAO WU.
so inezlau -> INEZLAU TIAO WU.
and also, tanwenqi TIAO WU.
when the drink finishes, no more wu to tiao alr )))):
(i know tanwenqi very cute =D by coming up with this)


nothing to blog alr.


maybe, after all.
i still love her lah.
MAYBE. x)


BYEBYE(:

too much of a telepathy can be freaky.
ohwells. xD
mango tango = mang guo tiao wu.
how stupid can ppl get?
very i say.


i was still being bullied la.
still trying to make me jump.
apparently it's failing.
LALALAS. (:
someone is eating VERY LOUDLY beside me.
TSKTSK.
is she a girl or what?
oh no. she's a PIG. xD

it just seems to me that everyone ard is upset.
maybe not everyone.
some are dwelling in happiness.
but of course others, the opposite.


so inezlau decided.
she decided to SMILE.
and make everyone around her happy.
i dont like people ard me to be sad.
according to nigel,
if i keep making people happy,
my grades will suffer.
HAHAS. but rly dont like to see ppl upset.
ohwells. that shall be the plan.




i make everyone happy.
who will be free to make me happy?

rly rly drained out of energy.
what happened in this week?
i cant rly remember clearly.
everything is just so blur.
everything happened too fast to be caught on my brain.
i know there were tears.
i know there was laughter.
alas, the laughter died down before those tears could stop flowing.


half day started off on a low tone.
with me having to complete my zuo wen.
then went to ikea with two idiots.
i found my dream room in ikea ! (:
and we took funny pictures.
and had a food fight.
evidence of food fight can by found in tanwenqi's phone.
laughs-
momentary happiness.




today's school was alright i guess.
but i'm tired. rly tired.
it's just about time when i break down.
sooner or later.
saw some stupid catking on my way home.
at my house mrt station.
laughs- entertainment for the day. (:
i fell in love with the bed once i got home.


what's a smile.
it's just something plastered on your face.
a facade.
a mask used to cover up your inner feelings.
as long as you're smiling,
no one would question.
"are you okay?"
we make them look so real.
they'd never know.
never.


hanging on loosely.
to the thread that binds us together.
you're moving faster.
i'm falling behind.
"i'll be there for you."
yesterday's promises,
turned into lies overnight.
what's the truth?
what's a lie?
i cant tell the difference.
continue lying to me.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE.
feeling super tired now.
cause i lugged my presents home.
super alot la. i feel loved. xD


i dont think i'll be able to list out ALL the ppl.
but special thanks to 3/o peeps.
cute bunch of ppl. (:
and my beloved 2/o ppl.
TENofus.
band mates and others ard.


certain someone has made me cry in class TWICE.
HAHAS. i think i super pro.
at least those fallen tears taste sweet. (:


YAYE. i love all those who gave me presents today.
thanks for making me feel loved.
i'm damn proud of all those presents.
ppl were staring at me on my way home.
but who cares.
i bet they're just jealous that i've got so many presents.
xD LOVELOVE.


love is in the air. and i'm loving every ATOM of it.
(:

RAHH. someone violated and bullied me la.
tsk. tickle me and ask me jump.
make me scream and send the scream to ppl.
how mean can she get?
i rly dont know.


irritating piece of shit pls.
irritate the hell out of me only.
-GLARES.
i fell aslp on her bed. yawns-
cant help it that i'm feeling tired.
i'm NOT a pig.


ohwells. will update more when i get back home.
if i have the time that is.

ACCOMPLISHED.
finished a time-consuming gift.
xD

today was tiring.
cause end of the week.
so super no energy.
i dont rly remember what happened during curriculum time.
so yea. stm.
then collection of 'o's results.
why cedar so pro?!
xD many ppl quite satisfied with results.
seen some disappointed ones too.
seen them jump. seen them cry.
what would it be like for our year?
what would it be like for me?
i dont know. i dont ever want to.


then went bugis.
for vday shopping.
bought super alot of things can.
pls pardon me for all those massive gifts.
but is for different grps la.
only some have individual.
still have flowers to buy on monday.
going kovan with lichu to jalan and kua huey.
xD
LAIYIYING. i'm cold. i want to wear jacket.
lalalas. monday yall will know why.




smiling while you're hurting inside is hard?
i think it's easy.
cause i'm doing it every single day.

talked to a funny ass just now.
xD telepathy. spot the keywords.
i was happy.
spot the keyword.
i shall be a pampered kid and whine.
i dont like band now.
cause it's draining all my energy.
it's not that i dont want to go.
but it's like, yea. too much.
but i still went for all three this week.
drained out. i crave for a good night's slp.
rly have no time to get vday presents.
erg. damn rush.
but i'll still try my best to get everyone individual okay?
if i cant, then it would be massive gifts.
cause not enough time.
okays. bed bed bed. i need the bed.
i dont want you to be unhappy.
cheer up, my zui ai.

yawns- drained out.
taxing day. killed all my brain cells.
the beginning of the week has alrdy been taxing.
preparing for amaths and chem and chi test.
chinese test totally killed my brain cells on tue.
still had band on tue.
freaked out and stressed out.
concentrated on chem instead of maths.
today. the tests.
ohwells. no comments for chem.
amaths was alright for me.
i hope.
and went for band after that.
laughs- bonding time.
and i got so pissed. -rollseyes.
rly cant be bothered with them.
and then, MOVIE TIME.
ayeaye. seen some supposedly good looking bungs ard.
keyword : supposedly.
HAHAS. boss ought to check her eyes.
=/
i'm not stupid too is freaking touching la.
out of 2 hrs, i think i cried for half an hour.
xD active tear glands.
i'm not the only one you know.
RAHAHAHAS. gay darling crying beside me.
WHOOPS. xD i'm seriously drained out.
i can hear my bed calling me.
that's for now.

did i tell you how much i detest liars?
if i haven, then here it goes.
i HATE liars. i dont like it when you lie.
telling me things that aint true.
aint what you feel deep inside.
i realised 'iloveyou's hold no meanings anymore.
it's just so frequently used,
until it has lost its original meaning.
so therefore you would be lying if you said iloveyou to me.
cause i know you dont mean it.
not referring to anyone.
just another random thought.

some person's blog pissed me off just now.
-rollseyes.
what's with the classifying of friends?
what's with the i dont care about other superficial friendships?
i dont even know why did i bothered to buy that thing for you.
since i'm like classified in the 'superficial' friendships.
i rly dont know.
if you haven realised, i'm growing to ignore you.
i am.
sick and tired of chasing you ard.
sick and tired of asking you whether are you going.
if you dont even care yourself,
why should i bother?
and in the first place, i am alrdy your superficial friend.
i'm feeling sorry for myself.
because i treated you as a true friend.
thanks for hurting. thanks.

was talking to guniang about sec4s leaving.
it's sad.
it rly is.
can you imagine life without my entertainers?
without occasional greetings from my guniang during school hours.
without darl to sms in class with me.
without ppl to whine to.
without suzanneseah and unsound to violate.
without zhangwenyu to dote on me.
without ppl running on 3rd and 4th level searching for familiar faces.
): frowns-
RAHH.RAHH.RAHH.
i dont want time to pass so quickly LAH.

): (:
there you go.
a smile for you.
if only you know that i'm hurting inside.

dont lie to me if you dont mean it.
i'm falling down.
i dont know down to where.
probably into a bottomless pit.
i'm hurting.
but i dont know why.
enlighten me will you.

lollipops and chocolates together.
i want to return to my baby time.
when simplicity and innocence wasnt stolen by deception yet.
and everything would be plain and simple.
i wont know what's called pain.
i wont know what does sadness feels like.
everything would be fine after crying.
unlike now.

i went to the doctor with myself todays. (:
myself says: you love yourself alot.


((((:
inez is still sick.
how? let myself take care of myself.


it wasnt meant to make sense.
myself is not sound.


HAHAHAHA.


LOVELOVE(:


this is inez okay.

(: sweet person sent me home.
and is standing by the window now.
i hope she doesnt fall off. xD


went to the doc just now.
rahh. rejected the doc's offer for cough syrup.
i hate cough syrup.
ohwells. update later.

i swear my throat is killing me.
at this rate,
i'll puke out every single thing that's in my stomach.
including blood.

the damn sore throat is back.
i was feeling alright in school lah.
tsk. i told you i'm solar powered.
i stink today okay.
after band. okays.
i'm not rly in the blogging mood now. = low
so yea. byebye.