endless flow of tears for today.
my head hurts. it's spinning.

cried it all out today. but the disappointment remains.
i'l forget. i promise.
i hope girlfriend din get too freaked out today.
sorry. din have much time for you.
needed some time to spend with Him.

walked ard the complex today.
looked thru many things. thought thruabt many things.
tears fell. heart ached. burden got heavier.
happy songs can seem sad all of a sudden.


thank you cal for trying to make me (:
you helped alot. and you cried alot too. hugs-
we'l all pass thru the tests tgt.

I SAW GDINE SEE TODAY! WOOHOO.
she's a hot bung la. super hot. xD
someone got 'angry' becos i said she was the hottest.
and that she made me go out of my stoning state. >.<


uh oh.. POOFY POOFY POOFY.
geraldine see is the hottest la.
but poofy is the most adorable la.
and i love poofy's fats. hee. =D

my knee hurts. bahh.

sometimes i dont know who's real who's fake.
who's telling me the truth. who's just lying.
i only know that whatever the case is,
it always hurts to find out the last. - --- --- ---

let the rain fall. i'l hide my tears.
let the lightning strike. it'l blind my eyes.
let the thunder roar. it'l soften my heartaches.
i promise i'l be strong.
i just need a lil more time. more time alone.
and i'l learn to be strong.

you, you've many things weighing.
you dont need another 51kg burden added on you.
not necessary to waste unnecessary effort.


ppl are just starting to get fake-r and fake-r.
other than those close to my heart.
what's the use of me trying so hard to be real,
when everyone around are putting on masks to face me?
laughs- what a joke.

whatever the case is, girlfriend and maid are coming church tmr.
girlfriend is a certified kuku head.
who has never been to chinatown before.
i seriously hope she wont be late. prays-

lastly, thank you daddy for all that love you showered.
thank you grace for those msges.
thank you girlfriend for making me laugh.
thank you mummy for your tags. i know you've not enough msges.
thank you for all that you've done and wiping of tears.


除此之外，非常遗憾，你的心我还是打不开。
previous part in chorus how sweet. alas, this line hurts.

i asked you if there's gna be a day that you dont need me anymore.
you replied, saying there's only be a day that i'l push you away and no longer need you.

now let me tell you.
the day that i wont need you will be the day that i vanish from the face of the earth.
and that day wont come cos we'l spend life here tgt, and enter heaven tgt too.

you dont know how you light up my life.
you dont know how good it feels to be the one who pins a smile on your face.
you dont know how my heart breaks when you're crumbling.

i really wished this world would stop for a little while.
but sadly it cant.

wo men zhi jian de shi jian shao le hen duo.
ke shi wo dui ni de ai zhi hui zen jia.

its very hard to find the right words to explain my feelings.
cos telling you how i rly feel is more than just sweettalk.
its about me finding the right words to say i love you.

its more than words,
more than those three words.

when the angels are talking about you, hell would have to hit first.
but you'l overcome it and rise to a whole new level.
trust in Daddy.
proverbs 3 : 5-6.

satan's bringing us down.
but we'l soar even higher.
on eagles' wings.

we'l walk thru all difficulty hand in hand.
i mean what i say.

please believe me.
除此之外 要你明白 你的笑我真是喜欢看.

mummy, i din fulfil my promise,
to stay happy throughout the weekend. 我又哭了。

the world seems to be moving on faster and faster.
my significance is getting smaller and smaller.
perhaps we all need that lil time alone.
but i dont like to feel helpless, useless.
would anyone even bother?

this time, it'd be me who need some time alone.
Daddy, bring me home.

- ---- -- --- -- --- ---
&^&@#(&@#*&())!@)(#@&

feel my fustration and pain.

ALIEN IS HERE AGAIN (:
-beams.

inezlau is at band.
-pouts.
she never reply my msges.
POUTS EVEN HARDER-

inezlau has the way into my heart.
geeehs.

ALIEN MISSES INEZ DEARLY.
and alien misses someone else too x))

alien is upset.
or just mixed feelings?

why must you go to the world and announce your pain?
why must you seek attn?
it doesnt help.
instead im getting more frustrated everyday.
maybe i caused it all. BUT.

why do you save the best for the last.
not even the last.
its when the show is over, den you say what the actors are seeking for.

alien wu neng wei li alr.
alien is tired.
so is inez.
but alien promised, i'l walk with inez thru all (:

i anticipate every sunday eagerly.
alien can spend whole day with inez.
how good is that ((:

ALIEN IS A ROMEO!
JOEY DONT WANT TO BE MY JULIET!
do you want to be my juliet?
(but the name damn obiang)

you can reply in alien's blog (:

i love you inezlau.

thank you daddy.
i just sat down and just cried it all out.
thank you for hearing my cries.
thank you for those comforts.
thank you for all those whom you sent.
that lady in green. ((:
those words were rly comforting. THANK YOU.

breakthru for many today i guess.
teejay was getting flooded. for a good reason.
we're all healing. bit by bit.
thank YOU for that tight hug and shoulder to cry on. ((:


studying drives ppl mad okay.
if you see two insane ppl bouncing ard chinatown point.
hee. i apologise for our madness.
we were just getting high over songs that's all.
plus actions somemore. HEE.

我看过的猪可是达人的程度。
my fave line. i was singing this with a pig you see.

OH YES. I HAVE A NEW MAID!
introducing....NANA.
who so happens to be have complicated relations with my zui ai.
shakeshead- HAHHAS.


frog prince. thank you for everything.
for getting high with me and making me laugh.
for letting me have a chance to hug you and make you smile.
for talking nonsense to me although you alr have no time.
for singing all those songs to me.
for all those that you've scribbled on my hand.
washed away, but picture captured in my phone. (:
for wearing hairband and allowing me take photo of it. xD
for providing me a shoulder to lean on. and you leaning on mine.

THANK YOU. <3
i love you, more than words can say.

sorethroat. painful knee. fever.
anything worse? frowns-

i know ther's this girl out ther.
thinking that she's forgotten.
insignificant in my life.
and she's crying now. or just now.
but this is just to say,
you're NOT forgotten.
and i'l be here whenever you need someone.
cheer up my girl. (: hugs-


oh yea. many funny things happened today.
IKEA. ((:
tempted ppl with meatballs and chicken wings. hee.

FROG PRINCE, where? pouts-

sports day is over.
well, this year aint that high.
i dont know. maybe it's just me.

after sports day went out with mummy and malia.
finally know how xinying felt.
too tired to eat.
HAHAS. yea.
laughed and crapped alot.
and they saw me got so high over one song.
same song that got me high during sports day. ((:

met up with zui ai after that.
sat down at mos and she was munching NON STOP.
on dark choc malt. TSK.
look who's the pig.
I MISS MY ZUI AI LA.


i sat on a swing after that. explosion of emotions inwards.
i miss pasir ris park swings.

i love OLE. great job ppl. esp our class runners. (:
i love MALIA. for tolerating my highness and madness. hee.
i love MUMMY. for ranting tgt with me. =D
i love GIRLFRIEND. for sending that sms and made me LAUGH.
i love CAL. for spreading some pink to me.
bestest love, ZUIAI(: too many reasons. <3

knee hurts. i bet it's due to the rain la.
pfft. my knee is a weather forecaster. ((:
mummy's ankle too.
HAHHAS. we can predict the weather.

got all drenched today.
i bet i'm gna be sick again.
ohwells. so be it. need a break too.

i cried again.
all thanks to mr lightning and thunder.

walked home in the rain for a short while. bathed for one hr.

已经悲伤地流不出泪来了。
i like this quote.

my head hurts. so does my heart.
my stomach hurts too.
simultaneous pain.

心死了。

this week, tiring.

no matter how much i try to replenish my energy,
they just get depleted over and over again.
sleep, no longer helps.

heart wrenched so many times.
i no longer know what to say or to do.
remained silent my whole way thru.


went out with mummy, adeline and pinghui.
watched take the lead.
it's interesting.
oh ya, mummy = linwenyi.
and i LOVE her. (:

MANY things happen in cinema you know.
ppl like fighting war la.
fidget fidget. tsk.
those three should know what im talking about.
HAHAHAS. entertainment pls.

talked and laughed alot today. momentary happiness.
thank babes for making my day. (:
and you, zui ai.
for your smses ((: thank you.


my silly one, my finger is not painful.
my efforts paid off when i saw that smile on your face. (:
will that smile last? i hope it will.
hugs-

i'l stand strong.
even if i fall, i wont cry. i dont allow them to fall.
it's okay. i'l face everything with a smile. i hope i can.


passerby, you dont even know the girl.
how you know you like her?

i rest my soul, on Christ the Rock.

i love my zui ai.

dont let the tears harden.
i rather they flow and i catch them, my love.

hello, invading now!

i love you
i love you
i love you (:

thank you, for those hearts.

im hurting cos you hurt your nails becos of me.
sometimes, i shldnt be causing you these pain.
cos i know you've got your own troubles.

i love you =D

thansk for trying.
no guarantee, but i know you touched my heart.

sometimes, i dont know how to express my gratitude love.

ZUI ZUI ZUI AI.
need to add a few more ZUI now x)

-hugs.

small things matter, alot.

i wna buy plaster for your injured nail.
is it painful? ):

<3
inezlau is my love.

i've survived two days.
thanks to YOU. ((:
i'm still feeling drained. but i know you're there.
and that's enough to keep me going.

tmr ther's chem and amaths test.
and what am i doing here?
i've no idea. but nothing's going in.
sighs- too affected i guess?

i can feel energy draining out bit by bit.
but ther's laughter these few days too.
i've an interesting class.


I LOVE ZUI AI. =DD
I LOVE MUMMY.
I LOVE ADELINE KOH.
I LOVE LIMPINGHUI.

that's all for now.
my clone is slowly falling apart. have been using her too often these few days. i'm sorry but i just needed a break from this freaking world.

i'm prepared to detach myself from the world.
for this week.
Daddy, let those that i dont wna see,
disappear in my zone.
i dont wna see them and get fed up again.
teach me how to control my emotions.
i wont let them get the better of me.
and spoil everything.
i'l just stay calm.
and let You help me tide over this.

forgot to mention.
my love went ard chinatown.
to find me whipped cream. hee hee.
i love that silly ass. ((:
and of course her panda biscuits.
she made me open it.
i din want to.

i love this silly ass of mine.
no more blogging inezlau. blogs are dangerous.
okay fine. byebye. (:

ahh whatever.
that was the statement i had with me today.

getting more and more disappointed in you.
i can feel the volcano within me building up.
ready to explode anytime.
i just need ONE small incident to BOOM.
i dont wna spoil friendships.
but if you dont put in the effort,
you'l just see everyone drifting away frm you.
whatever la.

i'm tired. rly tired.
i know zui ai's tired too.
it's been tiring for the both of us.
what's with all those thingys.
AHH WHATEVER.


Daddy made our paths cross.
He knew our characters fit. (:
we're closer than those in a r/s.
nothing can spoil the bond between us.
those who are jealous can just go bang the wall.
my bestest soulmate.
unspoken words. telepathy works.
i love my soulmate. =D

managed to rant alot today.
i fed ppl with paper too. at least ten pieces.
thank you for hearing me rant.
thank you for being there.
thank you for sharing the burden.
YAYE. I LOVE YOU. and not ashamed to admit it. (:


mummy, you did great.
i know. (: for the time being, i wont have stressed mummy.
yaye. something to celebrate.

ADELINE KOH. thank you for your msg.
you made my day feel better.
thank you thank you. =D


learning how to appreciate ppl ard me.
i love those who are REAL to me. sad to say, ther arent many.

agitated feelings are still there.
much better know.
thank you Daddy for being there.
i could feel your hand on my shoulders.
lifting all my burdens.

but i'm still flesh.
i need time to rant and get angry about it.
but i wont do anything to hurt others.
i'l convert my rants to tears.
tears dont hurt others right.

perFAT couple.
hahs. nevermind.
no more of backstabbing.
someday, i'l go right to your face and tell it into your face.
you too my friend.
someday when i'm not afraid of hurting you.
but why am i bothering so much?
inezlau, you're so weak.
i know. you dont have to tell me.


ahh. i dont wna feel angry/irritated anymore.
it's just that they keep coming in.
Daddy, help me learn how to block out unwanted thoughts.
let my mind be filled of you and only you.
then only, i wont have any time or space to think of others.
yes.

i know ther're ppl ard who loves my clone.
if happiness is what you wna see of me, i can show it to you.
then it'l be all smiles for me. even if i'm hurting.
i need my rant space.
no where to rant. no one to rant at.
nevermind.


我累了。 ready to cry it all out.
i want to do zipline.
from my house. without the line.

RAHH RAHH RAHH.
他妈的！！

i swear all the vulgarities can come out of my mouth.
what the hell la.
all those losers should just jolly well go die.


what's the pt of spreading baseless rumors?
you dont even know me and you say this kinda rubbish.
what the fuck.
just get a life la. you're fat.
she's fat too.
yall make a damn good pair.

i dont know what's wrong with you too.
public announcement lor.
what's the pt of doing that?
letting the whole world know is it?
so what if the whole world know?
AHH WHATEVER. disappointed in you, my friend.

if yall wna spread rumors, CLARIFY first la.
dont go ard asking my beloveds.
if you got the guts to spread, pls have the guts to ask ME.
idiots. morons. losers. SERPENTS.


so i'm supposed to drift away becos of these rumors ah?
whatever losers.
if that's what you want me to do,
sorry to disappoint you.
you'l just make the two of us closer.
cos now we have a COMMON hatred against YOU.

i dont bother to clarify here alr.
said many times. but yall chose to ignore.
so why should i bother wasting my saliva on you?
whatever.

I NEED RECYCLING BIN LA.
I NEED MEDICINE FOR IRRITATEDNESS.
DOCTOR ! WHERE ARE YOU?!


if you're thinking of spreading any rumors,
think twice/thrice.
dont make it to my hate list.
you wont like my treatment to those i hate.

no matter what, i love my zui ai.
our love, cannot be explained with words.

freaking LOSERS.

pfft. i feel tired.
as in ya, physically and mentally.

3/o got first in 10x80!!
great job ppl. ((:
i think we practised the run by running out of class fast.
once the school bell rings. hee.

doctor's sick.
and she refuses to drink water.
sighs- she doesnt wna listen to me.

doctor's daddy made me laugh just by whistling.
and doctor's jealous becos of that.
how silly. HAHAS.


OH YES. my doctor din perform well today.
so i degraded her to my recycle bin.
i tore up pieces of paper and doctor's supposed to eat.
yes. eat.
fustration vented out on ten pieces of paper.
but i'm still as irritated, as upset? ah whatever.

i've heard rumors.
well, say whatever you want la.
get a life and live it well pls. rollseyes-
"yall know each other too well to be together la pls"
as quoted from mummy. ((:


i din say you werent my zui ai.
you assumed.
just wrote what i rly felt la silly.
ahwells. inezlau loves her zui ai. (:
and her recycling bin. =DD

there's still mummy to thank.
special thanks to YOU, mummy. ((: yaye!
dont be stressed.

doctor is sorry for being unable to cure patient.
but doctor's daddy did.

i should go and learn to whistle. !

erps.
i dint pray, but it dint rain either.
HEEE.

I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I'm plannin' to keep it that way

its nice lyrics.

i love my zui ai.
she is my zui ai.
but i dont know if i am her zui ai,
cos she say im not ):

you can choose not to believe, but i love you.
I DO.

我要离去别再哭泣不要伤心
请你相信我要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

i love this song. it makes me cry.
umm. lovely lovely song.
off to my hiding place.
you wont be able to find me. you dont know me well enough to do so.

my concept of love.
too simple, too naive to be understood.

sorry to those ppl who i swinged at.
today was rly a moodswinging day.
practically moodswinged every single sec of the day.
sighs- just after effects of tears.

finally got the campus superstar vcd from nigel.
HAHAS. and that funny guy is funny.
ohwels.
痛了，哭了，累了
fustrations vented out on my ranting bk.
the only thing that listens to my rants when i'm truly upset, when no one's there.


tears aint worth anything.
they dont lessen the pain. they increase it.
i want to bathe. 避风港

mummy, i still did cry today.
and your tummy wasnt there.

i dont wna to face my fears.
dont wna face my fear of thunder.
dont wna face my fear of disappointments.
wo bu yao.

my head hurts.
my eyes hurt.
my heart hurts.
my knee hurts.
sighs-

there was a flood.
but it subsided. you wiped them all away.
it hurts. but you shared the pain with me.
thank you.
eyes still hurting. the same goes for the heart.


still suffering from after effects of it.
i'l be alright. much love to you my CAL. ((:

ohya. 2.4 today.
14.44 min. gd or bad i dont know.
but i know you're running with me.
i felt it. ((:

i'm tired.
i need a shelter to dwell in. but i'm one myself.
bye to the world.

i hereby declare,
thunder and lightning are scary.
i swear. )))):

it was still a bright and sunny day.
and then it suddenly changed to a storm.
RAHH. and there comes all the BOOM.
and all the flashes of light across the sky.
cant help it that i'm scared right?
screamed and cried.
all thanks to them. pfft.

i realise ppl do silly things to make me (:
AH BOON !! do the camera thing again.
hee. so monkey like pls. =DD
and sing STILL loudly.
so that i wont be scared. ((: silly CAL.

and someone wanted to wear a hairband to make me (:
hahahas. but i rejected the offer.
i dont want to see a gay person. oops.

flashes of lightning, frightening sounds of thunder.
i'l try not to be afraid.



i like rainy days, in the rain, tears wouldnt be seen.
the thunder so loud, that no one will hear my screams.
lovely aint it?

my zui ai cried todays becos the thunder scared her.
but the other zui ai was there to wipe away the tears and hug her tight tight.
(:

zui ai dont believe i love her alot know.
like, ZUI ai. translate : most ultimate love.
geeeh.

guess who's this !
zui ai zui ai <3

i want zui ai never to fall sick again.
i want her to be happy.

and this stupid tcher in sch irritates the both of us.
RIGHT ZUI AI !
stupid.

OKAY SOME IDIOT JUST IRRITATED ME.
AH WHATEVER LAH.
some ppl have nth better to do.
-rolls eyes.

anyways,
this post,
to tell zui ai i love her.
AND NOT HER CLONE.

lovely day out with many ppl today.
((: wenyi, adeline, pinghui, yanhui, celeste, suting.
made me laugh my head off today.
hees.

HEY. i din drop the chopper or anything like that okay.
just that i almost cut my finger that's all.
i was like going ard getting high on air.
that's probably cause i was on medication that's why.


cip is fun la.
and the folks are rather funny.
OH YES. ICE AGE 2 IS NICE.
and HILARIOUS.
we were like having picnic inside the cinema.
3 packs of potato chips, 1 nachos,
2 drinks, 1 popcorn.
passing ard down the row and up again.
and i'm like not supposed to eat them. oops.
yesyes. how fun.

ate dinner at ajisen ramen.
filling dinner.
then it was CAMPUS SUPERSTAR TIME.
lalalas. zhiyang won.
not geraldine. but i'm still glad. =D

that's my life. i know it's boring.
i cant help it.
facade is falling apart.
anyone free to tape it up for me?
我累了。

weird and silly logics of mine,
are valid in my context okay.
I DONT CARE. pfft.
so pls FOLLOW my weird and silly logic.
=DDDD

basket for sale!
any takers? oops sorry.
it's taken. hees. xP

my eyes are like only half opened.
have been sleeping the whole day.
with exceptions when i was woken up by my hp's vibrations.
umm.

i'm feeling light-headed now.
floating ard the house. ready to black out anytime.

my hair is screwed.
zui ai's hair is also screwed.
aye.
what's with the bad hair days?
i dont know either.


umm. wanted to post a hate list of things/ppl in my blog.
but decided not to.
blogs are very dangerous. you'l never know who reads them.
ohwells.

okays. tmr i'l be going chinatown to do cip.
after which i'l go and watch Ice Age 2. =DD
with other 6 ppl.
i believe it'l be a fun day out. (((: woots.
hope i'l be well enough to go out tmr.


i realise i'm too reliant on my zui ai.
patient is feeling lost with her medicineman.
i need my dearest one.

okays,
i'm very very tired.

cause i'm sick again.
yaye. three cheers right?
where's everyone when i needed someone?

the one who wanted to be here,
is miles apart from me.
aye. i dont know what to say alr.

i just dont like the way you handle things.
yes, i dont like it.
and i'm making it very obvious.


head hurts.
nose running.
throat hurts.
heart's tired.
stomach churn.
anything worse coming along?
let it all come at once.
i wna cry it all out.

return back to baby times.
everything would be alright after a bawl.
for now,
tears fell but everything's still screwed.
nothing cld contain my tears ;
or catch them.

okay. sleep away all the pain inezlau.
yes, that shall be what i'l do.


THANK YOU ADELINE KOH AND LINWENYI.
for making me laugh over the phone.
and sweating the pain all out. =DD
THANK YOU MY ZUI AI.
for those smses. thanks for your presence.
it made me felt better. ((:

if i din bother about our friendship,
i would have told you off straight in the face.

you just dont get it do you?
everyone ard got it. except you.

AH WHATEVER.
i dont want to spoil things.
AHHHHHH. i'm irritated.


restricted in here.