Saturday, October 31, 2009
It is really damn sad. As much as I tell myself to not think about it, it just haunts me yknow. I kinda know how J felt like, how zhen felt like last time. It's fucking scary. The way your hand shakes, the way your heart trembles at the thought of it. And there's no one who can solve it for you. Words from friends will just pass you by just like that. Not that you are not willing to listen, but you just can't stop thinking. My hands are trembling. I'm really scared.
I want to hold your hand
Monday, October 26, 2009
Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something
I think you´ll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
Oh, please, say to me
You´ll let me be your man
and please, say to me
You´ll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
And when I touch you i feel happy, inside
It´s such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide
Yeah you, got that something
I think you´ll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
And when I touch you I feel happy, inside
It´s such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide
Yeah you, got that something
I think you´ll understand
When I feel that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand.
Am loving this song like crazy now :) It's sucha sweet song! Bubble bubble please don't burst.
Don't think anyone would really understand what I am ranting about. I just think it is damn sad when a girl starts to love a guy more, because that's when I think, a relationship is heading towards doom.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Why do people fall in love, and then out of love, and then back in love and then ...? I mean, there seems to be no end to this cycle, just like how there is no beginning or an end to a circle. It is just a vicious cycle I would say? Of course, I am not forgetting all the ever-so-sweet and still-so-sweet couples out there who are going on strong. But I mean, looking at friends around me being so troubled by love, it's just so funny how we just go for the thing that will hurt us the most right? We're such weird creatures, seriously.
The above paragraph was just thought after studying with Weizhen Wins and while waiting for my CafeWorld food to be cooked.
Yawns- missing my darling friends after looking at pictures in my computer :) Love you kiddos! Meet up soon to study yo :)
Love you Love :)
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Remember what I said previously about how guys always tend to use "So what do you want" in a quarrel? This post shall be on What a Girl Wants. Most would be of course from my perspective which is inaccurate to use as an representation of the whole female population. But I am sure most of the points, there should be unanimous agreement.
A girl wants a guy to take note of what she picks up during her shopping and returns to the shop WITHOUT her and get it for her a surprise.
A girl wants a guy to not keep quiet in a quarrel. Most girls do not believe in the "cooling off" time that guys believe in.
A girl wants a guy to hold her hand tighter when he's with his friends. It adds a hell lot of security.
A girl wants a guy to make it blatantly obvious that she is on his mind all the time. Random "I miss you" and "I love you" text messages would do the trick.
A girl wants a guy to be not afraid of expressing his love for her in front of his friends.
A girl wants a guy to kiss her on the forehead.
A girl wants a guy to look into her eyes when he says "I love you".
A girl wants a guy to make her feel as though she is the topmost priority in his life. Even if she is not, the little things that you can do to make her feel that way will suffice. We're open to white lies sometimes yknow.
A girl wants a guy to help her showoff his love for her. No matter how much a relationship is between two people, girls just love to show off that their boyfriends love them a lot.
A girl do not need expensive gifts, but small little handmade cards, wishes on the dot, a little company on the special occasion are enough to brighten her day.
A girl wants a consistent boyfriend. Not one that is very sweet to her in the beginning and starts to throw her aside after a while.
A girl wants a sense of security that she is the bestest girl (yknow, number one girl) in your life. And there is totally no competition at all. Guys may feel no need to explain but girls are consistently insecure so they need you to consistently tell them that they are still your number one girl.
A girl wants you to hug her when she is crying.
A girl wants you to talk things through together with her.
A girl wants you to hold her hand and sit with her on a couch and not do anything further.
A girl wants you to stop asking her "so what do you want now" during a quarrel.
The list is not complete but I am getting a little tired from mock exam week. I know what a girl wants may not be exactly what a girl needs. Just like how though I want my Boyfriend to sweet-talk me that things will be fine, I do need his reminders that there is practically no time left.
Yknow, when girls feel insecure, guys tend to push the blame to the girls, saying that it's their inferiority complex and negative thoughts at work. I am not saying that girls are totally exempted from blame. I am just saying that, sometimes, girls are just really insecure. And it's IMPOSSIBLE for them to secure themselves by thinking positively. Seriously. Impossible. So guys who think that it is possible to do so, try coaxing your girlfriends instead.
All the above are from a girl's point of view. If there is any angsty guys out there who are damn annoyed that your view is not represented, er, there's nothing I can do too cos I ain't no guy :)
Okay, no time to fuss over this now. Just wanted to get this off my chest so that if my Boyfriend says "what to you want", I'll just direct him to this post :) Good idea? I think so too!
If you made it pass this post, congratulations! If you didn't, sigh, pity your girlfriend. Hurry go back and read. Boyfriend! Go read!
Okay much loves! I am going to cook in Cafeworld! :)
Friday, October 16, 2009
Have you ever felt that your life is moving at such a fast pace that everything seems to be blurring out already? It's like, unintentional that you are moving at such high speed. But yet, the things that you miss and sacrifice when you move at that speed, you will never imagine. "I am busy. I am busy." How many of us have used that excuse to turn someone down for something? I think the one on the receiving end never feels good about it.
Sometimes, think of a better reason to tell others that you can't make it. Because a simple "I am busy" just makes the other party feels unimportant. It's true. And don't tell me to not feel insecure and think positive. Because I don't see a point in why I have to find excuses for your actions that are making me upset. It's like cooking up lies (I use lies because I won't exactly know what you're doing) for you to make myself feel better. Sounds like an irony? Pretty much.
It is very difficult to have an effective conversation with a person who is constantly using "I am busy" to shun away. I know that it may be a fact (in fact, most of the time, it is a fact) that you are busy. But I mean, I need some time set aside, (5minutes?) to make me feel important yknow.
I don't like the way how you ask me to not do certain things just because you don't like it. Sometimes, some stuffs, just need to be done to solve my own insecurities. I cannot let my sense of insecurity build up in me. I am not the kind of person who hides all unhappiness to a maximum before exploding. I will try to understand. But if I can't, I am not the type who tolerates you know? Because I believe that tolerating is the last resort? Since we are still at the initial stage, why go for tolerance when there could be more understanding?
Time is a major issue. And maybe cos I am fed up with having to study so far for freaking one month and sit for exams for another freaking one month. I know my temper has never been too well. But you can't say that I haven't been trying to change. And it's like when people are changing, why can't you expect less of them? Sigh. I don't know mans. Maybe I should speak for myself. I should expect less of you whilst you are trying to change.
Just, be a little more understanding towards my insecurities?
I swear to you, being insecure is part of being a girl.
P.s -> Those girls who claim that they are never insecure, you're still in the self-denial stage. Or you are just a guy in a girl's body.
By the way, check out MJC Farewell Assembly 2008 Maths Department on Youtube. Mad funny.
Back to more net surfing and sleep.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
You know what it feels like to feel alone in a crowd. Today's one of those days that I am feeling downright insecure, and annoyed, and negative, and "name all those negative feelings". It's bloody annoying that I am feeling this way because I jolly well know that I have NO TIME to be like mopping around and feeling sad for myself. Maybe that's where the annoyance come in. I feel like snapping at everyone and anyone. I just wished that my Boyfriend would be here to give me a pat and say "Everything's alright, will be fine. There's still me." You know, it's just little things, minute things that can drive all the negative feelings out of the window. Right words at the right time has a magical effect. But the sad thing is, usually, boys don't try hard enough to find the right words. Or maybe, they no longer try hard enough to find the right words. When it gets tough, they settle for the easiest statement, "What do you want?". Is it that hard for them to recognise that girls simply hate that statement? Because it's like, we're telling you exactly what and when to do, it's not something that you thought of it specially for me. You know how that feeling sucks? Like you're no longer making an effort to think of something to console me. You're just perpetually waiting for ME to tell you what to do. Nope, I haven't been talking to my Boyfriend to feel this way. It's just a long ago thing and it has always been bugging me when my friends keep repeating the exact same stories about their boyfriends. Boyfriend has been too busy for me. Feeling ever so alone right now. I know it's never right to depend solely for your boyfriend for comfort and solace, but sadly, that's what I am falling into. I really don't understand why guys can use nice tones towards their friends (both guys and girls), but when it comes to their girlfriends, their tones switch to that of annoyance. Are we not humans anymore just cos we're your girlfriends? Freak it la, I don't know. I hate it when people don't respond to me on Facebook, don't respond to me on email, don't respond to me when they see missed calls. I am damn tired. Can you take the initiative role for a change? Please.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Yknow what I realised? I realised that I used to be able to blog out my emotions to vividly last time. Reading my past blog posts (like 2 3 years back), is like taking a trip down the memory lane once again. From there, I saw how friendships were forged, and at the same time, I saw how friendships were torn apart. Some, were intentional. Some, were just lost along the way.
Promises.
As good as they sound, they never do come true right?
What's left of all the promises now? It feels as though you have never set foot into my life before. It's as though we were never close before. I saw this tiny post in 2006, "Once entwined, now separated". I can't find a more apt quote to describe the bond that was between the two of us. I don't know if you still read this page, I don't know if you still remember this friend of yours. But all I remember was, the bond between us was special. But sadly, I no longer remember how it feels like anymore.
I no longer remember how it was to hop around singing stupid songs with you plus actions. I no longer remember how it feels like to search around the whole shopping mall to find you so that you won't be alone when you're sad. I no longer remember how it feels like for you to accompany me through late nights. I no longer remember how it feels like for you to hug me when I am crying so badly. And I think the saddest thing would be, I no longer remember the way to your house anymore.
Out of my lost friendships, I guess this is the one that hurts me the most.
The one that drifted away slowly yet painfully.
Everything that was once there are now gone yknow. The special bond, that was closer than friends, closer than lovers, so close that everyone thought there was something going on, is just gone like that with the wind.
But anyway, take care my used-to-be.
We'll move on, finding our present happiness :) Found mine already. And you'll find yours someday, whatmore, you've your other friends around.
It's time to mark an end to these memories. The random jolts of nostalgia these past few years keep making me backtrack. It's time to really leave it down and move forward. But, you'll forever be missed.
And nothing will change the fact that you were once the most important.
Thanks :)